As I am writing this, it has been two years since Lucky is gone. I still think about him. I love my new baby Finn, and sometimes he does things that remind me of Lucky. And first it makes me smile. Then it makes me sad. I miss him.

    I have a USB port in my car. I have a couple of “sticks” on which I have added hundreds of songs, so I can listen as I drive. It’s funny, and maybe I notice it now more than I did before, but there seem to be a lot of sad songs about love and loss. And far too often, as I'm shuffling through my collection, something comes on that brings back memories. So, depending on my mood, I will either just push the “Next” button, or I will let it play and have myself a good cry.

    Nice tone to start this chapter, huh? Can it go any further downhill? OK, let's change the subject…

    It appears that, as we are nearing the end of our journey here, the forks have not been as “fun” as some of my previous ones. Well, thankfully, I think we are just about done here. And, if you are still with me, through all of this, whatever “this” is, then I am genuinely impressed.

    So, is this my final fork, or might there be any new forks in my future? If this is it, I would love to end on a happy one. The last one was in 2018 and now it's 2020 as I am writing this, so the prospects of going out on a cheerful note may be a little slim. As I said, it is 2020, so I don’t think I have to inform anyone that there is not much to cheer us up right about now. I hope there will be some things that could happen to make 2021 happier, but now I am in a kind of state of limbo. I have some physical issues, and am in the process of having some diagnostic tests, so I am keeping my fingers crossed.

    I recently turned 70. My Sig Other just turned 60. Ten years ago, we celebrated our two “milestone” birthdays with a big party. We reserved a long table at a restaurant, invited our friends and had a great time. At the beginning of this year, we were thinking about repeating it. Stuff happened.

    As I mentioned earlier, my mother passed away two months shy of her 89th birthday. My father almost made it to 78. As far as I know, no other male member of my family has made it into his 80’s, so I don’t know if I will be around to celebrate the next milestone.

    I never brought this up, because I am not particularly proud of it, but I started smoking as a teen. I was never a heavy smoker, but I did it fairly regularly on and off until I finally quit for good in 2002. I was diagnosed with a mild case of COPD some time ago and lately have been experiencing shortness of breath. Not a good thing right now, huh? I have been tested twice. Negative. First time ever, feeling good about failing tests.

    The pain therapy group I belong to has been very helpful. We used to meet once a week, and it was something I looked forward to.

    When Lucky passed away, we went to grievance meetings at the Humane Society. Misery loves company and all that, I guess. It was so sad to see others and listen to their stories, but it brought a small measure of consolation to know that you were not alone, and that there is hope for the future. The same thing with my pain group. I may think I have some problems, and then I hear about others who are dealing with things far worse. Yes, it is sad to lose your pet, but how about losing your daughter? AND your husband?! Although I am pretty much in constant pain, it really only affects the quality of my life. Some people have life-threatening ailments, so it gives me perspective

    Now, sadly, even our meetings have become "virtual", due to social distancing. It's OK, but not the same. I have other social media "friends," but most of them I haven't met in person. I must admit to some loneliness.

    Given that this is going to be the last fork, in this book at least, I believe maybe this is the time to “sum things up.” Boy, I wonder how many times I have used digital air quotes in here. Continuing---

    I have gone back and reviewed each chapter, some more than once, and wonder if I've left anything important out. As I revisit, sometimes a thought may come back regarding where and/or when I happen to be at the time I am reading about. And then I debate about whether I should include it. On some occasions, I stop and redo that chapter (I was getting a little tired of using the word “fork” all the time, so…). On others, I wonder if it should only be between me and that “thought” (there I go again…).

    So, if there is anyone who has gotten this far, and you are upset that you feel you weren’t mentioned, it's not because you weren’t important enough. It might be because you were very important, but I didn’t want to get too personal. Hey, we’re just talking about walking down some roads here!

    As I said, I would prefer to end on a happy note here. So, let me ask, has any of this entertained you? I like to think my writing can be amusing at times. Not knee-slapping laugh-out-loud funny, but rather more of a witty, put a wry little smile on your face, amusing. I have tried to be humorous at times in here. Not sure how many times I have succeeded, but sometimes I amuse myself.

    The writing I did in my line of work was pretty cut and dry. Just explain something technical in layman’s terms. I have, however, done some things on a lighter note. I have dabbled in poetry, and it sometimes has worked as a form of courtship. I have a few offerings saved away, but there is one I have committed to memory. It was a tongue-in-cheek ode to taking things slowly in a relationship. I give you:

“Patience”:

I don’t want you to misconstrue,
This isn’t a complaint.
I know that I should really try
And exercise restraint.
And realize, that when one tries
At personal relations,
You have to know, to take it slow
And meanwhile, master patience.

    Sorry about that. Damn those double entendres! I couldn't help myself. At the time, I thought it was witty.

    So now I’m thinking, do I really want to get this published, or should I just circulate it on the internet? I never thought I might make lots of money writing something so personal to myself. I would like to have something tangible, though, something I could hold in my hands and have on a shelf or a mantle or the like. And if I just throw all 25 chapters out there, it would upset me if someone just went right to the end, without reading it in chronological order. If that is what you did and are reading this right now, I sincerely wish you had started from the beginning. Unless you know me well, you might be very confused.

    I am trying to figure out a way to end this now, so far without much success. I have done a little summarizing, a little apologizing, since I know I will probably upset some people, either by omission or by inclusion. Of course, perhaps I am overestimating how many people will actually have the patience or not get totally bored before they ever get this far.

    I have been contemplating how I am going to get the "word" out. There are some people I believe might be interested and, with email and social media, it is pretty easy to spread a kind of viral "blanket" and maybe word of mouth will get others interested.

    Since this is the "final" last fork (at least so far...), I can always come back and update it if anything noteworthy happens. If something qualifies as a fork, we can move on to chapter 26.

    If anyone has a problem with whatever I have written here, I am totally open to debate. However, I have tried to be as accurate as I could. Perhaps I may have a date off or an exact place, but I am pretty darn sure about everything in here.

    OK, I am going to finish this page for now, and we shall see how it goes. Again, if anybody has gotten this far, thank you very much. If you have anything you want to discuss concerning my story, I believe you would know how to get in touch with me.

    Stay safe and stay healthy.