The last fork was very much devoted to things of a physical nature. Playing sports, getting hurt, getting addicted, getting better, all pretty much physical. But now I experienced a serious emotional fork, perhaps equal to or even more so than the last one.

    I had to deal with this new chapter of my life. I could not be as active as I was. But I was afraid I might make things worse. I tried going to softball games as a spectator, but I was definitely on the wrong side of the fence. I wanted to be out there playing. So I spent a lot of time alone.

    My home business had pretty much ended. I did a little website maintenance for a couple of people, but I had a lot of time on my hands. I guess I could say it helped me get to work on this, but it was small solace.

    I started seeing my therapist, as I explained earlier. Initially, it was a one on one thing, but she eventually decided to start a group, dealing with both physical and emotional pain. These people have become good friends now. We discuss our situations, and try to help each other. Prior to this group, however, I was not having much personal interaction. I depended more and more on my Sig Other. When she had health issues, I tried to be as supportive as I could and spent time with her when she was dealing with her surgery and chemo afterwards. And now, when I was having issues, she was there for me. She was at work during the day, though, and I didn't get out much. But at least I had my best bud.

    My fur baby, Lucky, and I would spend time together, either in the house or in the backyard where he loved to be. He had this passive-aggressive way of sitting, facing the patio door, and ignoring me until I would come and open the door for him. He was starting to get on in years, though, and things began to go wrong with him. I know where I am going with this now, and already I am tearing up. He started to spend more and more time visiting the vet.

    On May 2nd, 2018, we brought him to the vet ER because he was having trouble breathing. I remember my Sig Other placing him in the back seat of the car and I looked back at him, thinking that we were going to have to deal with some other issue. He looked at me, and it was just like another car ride.

    When we got to the ER, the nurse took him in her arms and brought him in the back. It was the last time we would see him as we always had. We went home and waited. They called us later that night and said he wasn’t doing well. We went back and saw him in a cage with a breathing tube. You could tell he was having trouble. They took him out and told us he wasn’t going to make it, and we had to say goodbye.

    I looked him in the eyes as they euthanized him in front of me. Words cannot express how sad it made me. I had just lost my best friend. I had never really ever been there to experience the death of someone close to me. Both my parents died after I had moved to California. Although I was sad to have them die, I had never had my heart broken right in front of me.

    I have a video I took of him early that morning of his last day on earth. I try to watch it sometimes, but I don’t get through much of it. And the damn thing is it happened so fast. We both were thoroughly expecting to have to come and pick him up after they took care of him. Now he was gone. But was he really?

    OK, another little bit of “background.” As I have stated more than once in here, I grew up dealing with things of a mathematical, logical nature. I got an Engineering Degree and, even though I didn’t go into engineering, I became a computer programmer. So I dealt with mainly zeros and ones. Therefore, what happened in the next few days threw me for a loop.

    The day after, May 3rd, I was out in the front yard, trying to forget what happened the night before. We have a couple of plants called Buddleia, but they are also called Butterfly Bushes because they attract butterflies. We usually have a bunch of the beautiful black and orange Monarch butterflies come by. But this morning, there was a different one. I pulled out my phone and took some pictures. When I showed them to my Sig Other, she said, "OMG, it has the same coloring as Lucky!" Indeed, it was white, brown, and black, just like Lucky. And there was one picture where it had flapped its wings, and there appeared to be a little ragged edge on its left wing like he had lost part of it.

    Lucky had had surgery on his mouth for cancer a couple of years earlier, and I have pictures of him post-op where his left jaw looked similar. And also, Lucky was a Papillon. The word "Papillon" is French for butterfly. It's getting a little spooky, but this is only the beginning.

    The pet cemetery where he was going to be cremated was supposed to pick up his body sometime after the Wednesday he passed away. I called them Monday, May 7th, and inquired how we were doing and when I could pick up his ashes. In the course of the conversation, I asked them when they picked him up, and they told me it was around 10:30 AM on Thursday, the 3rd. I went to check the timestamp on the photo of the butterfly with the wing. It was Thursday the 3rd at 10:17 AM. Coincidence? Maybe, but the story continues.

    So I waited to hear from the pet cemetery about when to pick up his ashes. I had initially been told that it would be about 3-5 days before they would contact me.

    Meanwhile, on Thursday the 10th, I saw another of the different butterflies. This time, it circled me, landed on one of the bushes, but then flew to our front door and landed on the wall just above it, facing down so, as I approached, it was kind of looking right down at me! This time, I chose to take a video. It just stayed there for the whole time as I taped it. I started speaking to it.

    Initially it had its wings up high next to each other, as they usually do when they land. I said, "Hey, baby, is that you? Lucky, flap your wings!" It hesitated but then opened and closed his wings eight times, paused, and then twice more. I stopped recording and it left a little later. I thought to myself, could it be? Are they cremating him now or are they getting ready to do it? I waited to hear from the cemetery that day but heard nothing. Friday, again, nothing. So I thought, oh well, that would have been nice, still, at least I have it recorded.

    I then called on Saturday to see what the holdup was. I was told by the woman who answered the phone that he had already been cremated but, since we special ordered a dog house with engraving, it would still be a few days. So I asked if, by any chance, she knew when he was cremated. She put me on hold and then came back and told me it was Thursday morning. I nearly dropped the phone. I caught myself and asked if she knew the time. She told me it was registered as Thursday, May 10th, at 11:13 AM. I went to check the timestamp on the video. It was Thursday May 10th at 11:36 AM! I was freaking. This experience makes it tough to call it a coincidence.

    It doesn’t end there. I had taken to going out every morning to the front where we have our two Buddleia bushes to look for butterflies. Nearly every day, I would see a number of Monarch butterflies, but only on the 3rd and the 10th had I seen the other kind with the markings similar to Lucky.

    On Monday, May 14th, at 10:45 AM, I got an email from the Pet Cemetery telling me that Lucky's ashes were ready to come home. I had gone out earlier and saw a Monarch but only one. So my very first inclination was to go outside with my phone. And to my shock and amazement, there were two of the ones with the markings similar to Lucky. That makes three "coincidences," which makes it hard to believe they are coincidences.

    Believe it or not, there is MORE! We had since gotten another little Papillon named Finn. He was having some separation anxiety issues. So we wound up having a few people who would come and watch him if I had to go somewhere. We found a young lady who would stay with him and she had several tattoos. I commented on them. We chatted, and she told me about the tattoo artist and where he worked. It just so happened to be near a place where I had been going for physical therapy. So I got his name, and finally summoned up the courage to see him and get a tattoo to memorialize Lucky. Before I went, I spoke to him and sent him the picture of the butterfly with the jagged wing to see if he could duplicate it.

    When I went to see him, he had drawn up some drafts, and they were perfect. He said he had looked up what type of butterfly it was, and what I heard him say was "morning cloak butterfly". That sounded good to me, as I had seen it each time in the morning. I had my phone with me, so I did a quick Google search. Google corrected me, however, and I found out it was actually "MOURNING Cloak Butterfly!"

    I had to struggle to not break down right in front of this gentleman I had just met. So a butterfly with mourning in its name came to visit me the day after Lucky died, the day he was cremated, and the day the cemetery had his ashes ready to come home. I just don't know how to assimilate all of this. It totally shatters my thoughts about science, spirituality, and whatever it is people call the "beyond." It certainly seems like someone or something was trying to communicate with me about the spirit of my baby who had passed away.

    And so I now have an everlasting memorial to my baby. I kind of “wussed” out, though, and got it on the back of my left shoulder, in case I wouldn’t like it. But I LOVE it, and wish I had done it on my arm so it would be more prominent.

    I have created a web page with a video about this, in which I also have included the butterfly picture, my tattoo, the video of the butterfly above my door and a picture of Lucky. Here is the link:

    http://www.jimsanfilippo.com/butterfly/

    I would recommend you check the “click here” link at the top first to view his Rainbow Bridge page before you watch the video.

    There are many pictures on the Rainbow Bridge page. Some of the story starts there and is not on the “Butterfly” page. There are links to each of the pages from the “other” one, though, so you can go back and forth.

    Some of what is on these pages has been included here. There are pictures, a video, and some music. Canon in D by Pachelbel, that I used to love and still do. Unfortunately, it now automatically brings tears to my eyes after listening to the first few notes.

    I think you would agree that this one and the last fork in the road (notice how I “slipped” that in there. Yeah, sometimes I’m proud of myself over dumb things that only I find amusing. Sorry.), have not been very pleasant, now have they? Well, we’re almost up to the present, so that’s a good thing, I guess.

    Home stretch, and all that...